- Don’t Kill Yourself Because You Can’t Get A Girlfriend
- Younger And Older Women Can Be Mean
- Remember That Physical Traits Can Be Hidden By Other Characteristics
- Our Unconscious Beliefs Affect Our Perception
- What To Do Instead Of Suicide?
- Learn How To Project The Characteristics That Women Want
- Your First Date: Make Sure Your Genes Fit
Don’t Kill Yourself Because You Can’t Get A Girlfriend
Update November 2016: This article has been up for over two years, and over the two years I’ve come to understand more about what guys who are thinking about killing themselves feel . Obviously, this has made me more compassionate and understanding towards people who are depressed or on the verge of giving up for any reason.
There are a lot of great comments below the article where guys are expressing themselves and their opinions and helping other guys feel better about themselves. (I want to thank everyone who has commented over the years and helped me understand more about how you are feeling.) So make sure you scroll down to the comments and connect with -minded people.
I was scrolling around Yahoo Answers the other day and I saw a ‘question’ that went something this:
I am 19 years old and I have been rejected by every girl I have ever asked out. I have never had a girlfriend or sex, and when the girls reject me, they humiliate me in front of their friends in order to look better. Should I kill myself?
Obviously this guy was contemplating suicide because he felt so shitty about himself.
Younger And Older Women Can Be Mean
Young and older women can be really, really mean. I think girls are often meaner than boys when it comes to attraction.
I remember girls in my school making a really big deal a boy that d them that they thought was gross or uncool or whatever goes through their stupid heads. Females know what to say to cut deep, and just because they are young and stupid, it doesn’t mean that they don’t have that built in ability to be cruel.
It is important to understand that what they say, how they act, and everything about them has nothing to do with you. It has everything to do with them and their ego – that’s it.
If you were to kill yourself, it would be simply because you have only met girls stuck in their ego, notbecause you are incapable of being loved in this world.
The good news is that there are plenty of girls who are not stuck in their ego. And they are waiting for you in your future.
Kill yourself now and you will never meet them.
Also Read: Lonely And Depressed? Don’t Focus On Self-Help
Remember That Physical Traits Can Be Hidden By Other Characteristics
I know there are a lot of men who are tired of hearing that it is not all about physical characteristics – BUT IT’S NOT! If it was, then no man who is less than attractive would ever get a date or get laid.
Men Ron Jeremy, Steve Buscemi, and Quentin Tarantino are not sexy in conventional terms, but they are also sought after by many women.
It is much more than just looks, and if you are stuck in the ‘I don’t have the physical looks to get a girl’ then you are holding yourself back from getting a girl.
Moving past that ‘I can’t’ mentality will allow you to be more confident, funny, and witty – and that’s what girls are looking for.
Hell, I know a guy who weighs over 300 pounds, is not physically attractive, and still got a beautiful woman because he is funny, confident, and smart. If you think about, you will probably know someone too.
Most women (not all) but most are looking for more than a good looking man.
Our Unconscious Beliefs Affect Our Perception
You may have beliefs that you don’t even know you have that are affecting your perception of yourself, women, dating, and relationships. It is very important to understand this because if you don’t, then you are being ruled by your unconscious beliefs and can’t make changes in perception to feel better about yourself and your situation.
What To Do Instead Of Suicide?
Stop focusing on your lack of a girl.
Focusing on rejection is going to drive you crazy, make you depressed, and dull everything else in your life. You have to get your focus off rejection and onto something else.
The best way to do that is to throw yourself into a bunch of goals and activities that benefit your life and make you happy.
- Hang out with friends.
- Make new friends.
- Break free from the blocks holding you back from abundance
- Join clubs of interest.
- Take up a new hobby.
- Work on personal growth.
- Learn how to be happy this year.
Ironically, when you start to focus on other things in your life, but still hold the intent that you would a girl in your life, you will probably attract a girl that is perfect for you.
Learn How To Project The Characteristics That Women Want
As far as learning how to attract women and how to build characteristics about yourself that women find attractive, sign up to receive tips and insights from this blog about women and how you can attract and keep them – if you haven’t already (sign up form is below).
Bottom Line: Keep learning and adding new tactics into your life so that you can attract really good women into your life. When you do, you will be thankful that you didn’t kill yourself.
Your First Date: Make Sure Your Genes Fit
Getting ready for a first date involves preparations to look and feel good. It might involve a new ‘do,’ a clean shave, or fresh new outfit with a great pair of jeans that fit perfectly.
But great-fitting jeans are not the only thing that people are making sure fit before their first date. People can now check that their genes fit.
Yep, genes — as in our DNA — before going on a first date.
Love Is In the Air
Our body smell is an important determining factor of whether someone else finds us attractive or not. In fact, I can’t think of a single person I know who is really attracted to someone they think smells bad. If anything, people remark at how good the person smells.
In fact, smell is so important that a huge industry making perfumes and colognes thrives off our desire to smell good to one another.
Smell is so important that women rank it higher than appearance when asked what they consider to be the single most important variable in mate choice!1
The “Smelly T-Shirt Study”
Current online dating and matchmaking allows people to find someone pretty or handsome and who s the same things, but misses a potential factor in attraction, our smell. Our natural smell, is produced, in part, by genes called human leukocyte antigens (HLA).
There is 20 years’ worth of research on this topic, beginning with the “smelly T-shirt study” which looks at the link between HLA genes and physical attraction.
2 HLA genes differ from person to person, and the study showed that the more different two people’s HLA genes were, the more ly they were to experience physical attraction.
This is believed to prevent closely related individuals from reproducing.
These genes are now being incorporated by companies such as Instant Chemistry, Gene Partner, and Love Gene into matchmaking to help introduce two people who might have a better chance of being physically attracted to each other.
But it doesn’t end there.
Other genes may relate to relationship satisfaction. A gene called the serotonin transporter gene, which moves a hormone called serotonin into our cells, has been linked to our responses to emotional situations. In a 13-year-long study of married couples, the serotonin transporter gene linked emotional behavior and marital satisfaction.3
Specifically, there are two versions of the serotonin transporter gene, “long” and “short.
” People with the “short” version of the gene respond more strongly to positive and negative emotions than do people with the “long” version of the gene.
When two people in a relationship both carry the “short” gene, facing emotional situations in their relationship can lead to emotional turbulence, which over time, can decrease relationship satisfaction.
Make Sure Your Genes Fit
Here’s how it works:
Select matchmakers and online dating websites match their clients social and economic parameters but then incorporate HLA genes and the serotonin transporter gene into their matching process. The DNA test is simple and secure, requiring only saliva to help their clients’ better find that someone they will have higher relationship satisfaction with and be physically attracted to.
So when it comes to having a first date, making sure your jeans fit may be just as important as making sure your genes fit.
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1Herz, R. S. & Cahill, E. D. (1997). Differential use of sensory information in sexual behavior as a function of gender. Human Nature, 8(3), 275-286 doi: 10.1007/BF02912495
2Wedekind, C. et al. (1995). MHC-dependent mate preferences in humans. Proceedings of the Royal Society B: Biological Sciences, 260(1359) 245-249 doi: 10.1098/rspb.1995.0087
3Haas, C. M. et al. (2013). The 5-HTTLPR polymorphism in the serotonin transporter gene moderates the association between emotional behavior and changes in marital satisfaction over time. Emotion, 13(6) 1068-1079 doi: 10.1037/a0033761
Dr. Seabrooke obtained her Ph.D. in Genetics in 2010 from the University of Toronto and completed post-doctoral training at McMaster University in 2012. While at McMaster Dr.
Seabrooke was a course instructor for Genetics and ran a research project studying neuroprotective genes in the blood brain barrier. In addition to being chair of the SAB and CSO of Instant Chemistry, Dr.
Seabrooke is a lead scientist at Inceptum Research and Therapeutics.
image source: ladyclever.com